I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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