So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
