come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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