Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize