I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
