Moan for me like Helen Keller
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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