Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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