I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
