I hate your face
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
