do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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