i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
