once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
