I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
