I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
