I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
