I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Randomize
