What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
