I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize