Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize