i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
