I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
