Apparently you make a good broom.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
