Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
