i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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