Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize