I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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