All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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