It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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