What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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