i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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