I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
there is glitter all over my balls
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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