Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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