you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
