no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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