He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
