But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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