so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
