people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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