I want to walk on stilts...naked
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize