I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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