fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
