So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
