And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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