My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
