4 words: hood of his car
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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