she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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