But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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