I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
