you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize