no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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