am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
