ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
