Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
