if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
