I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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