thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
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