Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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