All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
