i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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