Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just found puke in my bra..
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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