I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
