Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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