A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So many bounce houses so little time
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
