She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
