u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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