You smell like stripper and shame
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
