So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
