If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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