Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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