I don't remember. Are we still dating?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize