Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
