Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
