She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You made out with two different species that night
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
