By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
