I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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