hotel room ftw
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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