Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
