It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
