Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
