I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
